Have you ever felt like you’re falling behind in life? Do you ever feel like everyone but you has found their passion, is making good money, or has found love, while you’re still figuring things out? Just understand that each person on this planet has been there — not just you. Ali Abdaal’s video about navigating uncertainty and his insights resonated deeply with me.

Ali, a doctor-turned-entrepreneur, shared five strategies that have helped him during periods of feeling lost. What struck me most was how he framed these feelings not as failures but as natural parts of life’s journey.

The Red Queen Effect: Why We Feel Behind

The first concept Ali discusses is the Red Queen effect, which posits that we must run faster and faster just to stay in place. We’ve all felt this — we’re constantly working longer hours — optimizing our routines, and hustling on side projects while scrolling through highlight reels of others who seem to have it all figured out.

This creates what neuroscientists call “time anxiety” — the belief that you’re late in life, haven’t done enough, and your peers are doing better. I’ve experienced this myself when comparing my career progress to others on social media.

What’s important to understand is that this race has no finish line. Even billionaires feel they’re not doing enough when they compare themselves to wealthier neighbors. The key question isn’t “How do I catch up?” but “Why am I feeling like I’m in this race at all?”

A powerful prompt Ali suggests is: What would your life look like if you didn’t feel like you were in such a rush? This question alone can be liberating.

Identifying Your Invisible Scripts

The second strategy involves recognizing the cognitive scripts that guide our decisions without us realizing it. These mental shortcuts can hijack major life decisions, making us live according to someone else’s screenplay.

Ali highlights three scripts that keep us feeling lost:

  • The Sequel Script – making decisions based solely on what you did yesterday (like only considering jobs aligned with your degree)
  • The Crowd Pleaser Script – choosing paths that will make others happy, especially parents
  • The Epic Script – believing whatever you do must be big and impressive

The Epic Script hit me hardest. I’ve often felt pressure to make my next career move bigger than my last, even if that means making decisions that don’t align with my authentic values.

Embracing Liminal Spaces

The third strategy was the most transformative for me. Ali introduces the concept of “liminal spaces” – those in-between periods where you’re not quite sure what to do next, where there are no clear rules or definitions of success.

These spaces exist physically (like airports), physiologically (like puberty), and emotionally (like the gap between finishing university and landing your first job). Our brains are wired to escape uncertainty quickly, but Ali suggests that we should instead embrace these liminal spaces rather than rushing through them.

When I was deciding between focusing on writing, creating content, or pursuing something entirely different, I felt uncomfortable with the uncertainty. After hearing Ali’s perspective, I realized I was in a liminal space, and it was okay to stay there while I figured things out.

Escaping the Tyranny of Purpose

The fourth strategy challenges our obsession with finding our “one true purpose.” Ali points out that this concept has only gained popularity in the last 20 years, replacing traditional career paths with an equally restrictive alternative.

We’ve turned purpose into a destination — a fixed endpoint after which everything will magically make sense. But this is just another example of the arrival fallacy: “Once I find my purpose, then I’ll be happy.”

The liberating alternative is to see purpose as something that evolves with us. Instead of asking, “What is my life’s purpose?” we can ask, “What gives my life meaning right now, in this season?” What would happen if I ask someone to lunch or dinner each week? Would I like this — and how would that action fill my life?

This shift has been freeing for me. I no longer feel pressured to discover that one perfect calling that will define my entire existence. I’m an entrepreneur who wears many hats and works in tech. But do I have to be held captive by only that part of me? So now I ask things like, “How many pieces of music can I memorize if I only practice 30 a day? (I started with 15 minutes.) This has nothing to do with my work, but everything to do with my soul. Can I hand-quilt an entire quilt by only quilting one needle full of thread in the evening before bed? Why, yes, yes, I can. If I don’t get to this goal for a night or two? Who cares?

Running Tiny Experiments

The final strategy Ali shares is to run “tiny experiments” instead of setting linear, all-or-nothing goals. When you’re feeling lost, experimental goals make more sense than committing to a specific path.

An experimental goal starts with a hypothesis. Try this one: “What if I tried this?” You collect data by acting for a specific period, and whatever happens is valuable information — it’s not success or failure.

Ali suggests structuring these as PACT experiments:

  • Purposeful — exciting and meaningful to you
  • Actionable — concrete steps you can take
  • Continuous — simple enough to repeat regularly
  • Trackable — with clear yes/no answers

When Ali was unsure about leaving medicine for content creation, he experimented with working part-time at the hospital to gauge his feelings. This gave him data about what was meaningful to him without requiring an immediate all-or-nothing decision.

Applying this approach in my interests, and running small experiments with different projects rather than feeling I need to commit to one path immediately, has been refreshing and helpful. It’s reduced my anxiety and allowed me to discover what truly resonates with me.

Feeling lost isn’t a failure — it’s an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. By recognizing the comparison trap, identifying our invisible scripts, embracing uncertainty, redefining our purpose, and conducting small experiments, we can navigate these periods with greater ease and ultimately build lives that authentically reflect who we are.